SACBB

This is true of all changes. Once you’ve done it, the pain is forgotten. A perfect example is the young woman giving birth for the first time. Quite often, while that’s happening, she’s making a firm commitment: NEVER AGAIN. And then the beautiful baby, who is the creation of her and her husband’s love, is brought to the new mother. She holds it and nurses it to life. Sure enough, in two years she’s back in that same delivery room. It’s the same with all positive changes.
I remember when I was prospecting day and night. I didn’t like prospecting any better than the next salesperson does—until after I’d done it and the money started pouring in.
The pain of change is forgotten once you do what you commit to do. And, besides that, there’s such an excitement to taking command of your life in positive and effective ways. But now, watch this ever so carefully. Look how we begin our conflict. We all Want the motivators, but we can’t overcome the de-motivators.
“1 want to make a lot of money so that I can have security, acquire a feeling of achievement, collect some recognition, and be accepted by the people I come in contact with. And when I have all that, I know I’ll accept and feel good about myself. But I’m not giving up the security I have now. I don’t feel good—but I’m not miserable. So I’m not going to call those people back —
— “If they don’t want our stereo system in their home, that’s tough.”
— “If they can’t see that our cars are the best on the road, that’s their problem.”
— “If they’re incapable of grasping that our in-house telephone system will be more convenient and save them money, that’s just too bad. They’ve got the problem, not me.”
“And, if I don’t call them back, they can’t bang a no on my head.”
So it’s easier not to pick up the phone than to put up with the fear of failure, the fear of taking a no on the chin.
“So I better not call. Besides, I’ve told just about everyone I know that I shouldn’t be doing this kind of work. My mother keeps asking me why I don’t take it easier. And my father always says, ‘Why do you work so hard? It’s not expected of you.’ Of course, he never amounted to anything, but he’s happy—well, sort of. So I won’t call them back just this one time.”
When the next opportunity to follow up with a prospect comes along, this whole song is sung again. It always ends with “So I won’t call them back just this one time.”
“Anyway, the buyers we have to do business with in this company are impossible—a bunch of 6-volt minds trying to fake their way through 110-volt jobs. I’ve got twelve years of college and a doctorate, but this yo-yo I should call back right now can’t grasp that I’m the whiz-kid with the expertise, and he’s the dummy with the wool blanket for brains. He acts like he invented the silicon chip, but without his purchasing authority he’d be nothing. This is the kind of guy I’m supposed to change for? No way.”
And who loses?
I do. Because of my inability to handle the pain that change involves, I lost not only this one order but a host of similar orders by cutting a pattern of self-imposed defeat. Every time I scratch myself from a race instead of running and risking that I won’t win, I cut this defeat pattern deeper. When the opposition between the motivators and the de-motivators becomes a conflict in your mind, the result is the transitional stage called frustration.
“I’m so frustrated. I want to make more money, but I’m not leaving this place for anything.”
“I’m so frustrated, but I’m not going through the files again. If they don’t call me, that’s their cold buns.”
Once you get frustrated, the next stage is the interesting one called anxiety. That’s a fancy name for emotional pain. Some people voice their anxiety with such words as “1 just can’t stand this pressure anymore.” Others silently let the pain boil inside them.
The next stage you reach is your danger zone. Many of us go in and out of our danger zone every day.
When in your entire life were you the most comfortable?
In the womb.
Now that’s security. Your own pool, all the food you could possibly want, and no taxes. Then all of a sudden comes the day when you enter this world. What are you greeted with after you come through the door? A nice slap—your first rejection.
Then they cut your umbilical cord.

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